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The Week in Review

I bet our readers are going through withdrawal, eh? No entries for four days? Life has slowed down a bit but there's still lots going on.

Monday

Auntie Jo arrived on Monday! My little sister is a Humber College student studying interior design, and this week just happened to be her Reading Week, so she came to Ottawa to help cook and clean. We made up a grocery list the very first day and did lots of cooking and freezing. Joanna did oodles of dishes, and was great company.

And Lia loved her Auntie Jo. Lots of smiles; in fact, Lia would get distracted from eating because Auntie Jo was making googly eyes at her. "Stop flirting, you two!" I told them sternly, but they didn't listen.

My favourite moment was when I was feeding Lia sweet potatoes, and she began making raspberries and spitting food all over. Jo started laughing hysterically, and then Lia would grin and do it again, sending Jo into more peals of laughter. "I'm sorry," said Jo, "I know I shouldn't be laughing, you don't want her to do that."

"No!" I said, thoroughly enjoying both of them. "I care more about her being happy than being clean." [Don't know how many loads of laundry that attitude will last through, but it's intact for now!]

My only regret is that we didn't take any photos of Jo and her niece. I guess we have camera fatigue.

Tuesday

Pancake Supper was the place to be on Tuesday (Ascension does an organic supper and it's really tops!) We drove in Joanna's car, and it was Lia's first time in the car seat. Not a good scene. She'll need a lot more acclimatization before we do that road trip to Arizona.

When we came into the Parish Hall at 5:30 pm, we could hardly find a seat. Lia was mobbed by admirers, and smacked her lips on the homemade organic applesauce (great job, Ashley!). What joy to sit, gab with our friends, and eat delicious pancakes while holding an adorable baby on our knee. Bliss. We didn't want to go home (no kidding, 'cause it meant putting Lia back into that torture device car seat).

Again, no photo. Sorry.

Wednesday

Joanna and I found a little time on Wednesday to drive to Chelsea to photograph country homes for one of her design projects, and stop in at Gerry and Isobel's for some tea and chocolate cake.

Thursday

Aunt Sue and Uncle Ron dropped by for a visit, giving us a chance to inaugurate our new tea set. Aunt Sue described the visit beautifully, in a comment on my mom's blog:

Princess Lia is just that -- a princess. How MUCH we enjoyed meeting her today. I will always remember how she received my gentle caress and then smiled and reached out to both of us just as we were leaving -- as if to say, "I'm so glad we're all in the same family!"

And I couldn't agree with her more..

Also, no photo. Sensing a theme here? (Aunt Sue did take some shots of Lia with her digital SLR, after we wiped Shawn's drool off it.)

Friday

No Ottawa family homecoming would be complete without a trip to the canal! When Lia woke up from her morning nap, we hustled her into the jogging stroller (enormous thank you to Common Grounders for that one!) and headed for the ice. We chose a brilliant sunny day, not too cold, although the wind was a little fierce on the return trip. Lia was quiet as long as the stroller was moving, but when we stopped to tie on our skates or eat Beavertails, she cried. We made it from Lisgar to Fifth Avenue and back.

Oh, look, a photo!

Yep, that's what darling Lia looks like when she's crying.

Saturday

Ah, nothing beats the coffee shop and a good book.

Sneak Preview

I'm in the process of editing down our 3+ hours of footage from the trip, and I thought you'd might like an advance screening of a couple of clips. Plus, I take particular delight in bringing the SRDC server to its knees. ;-)

First, our walk in the People's Park in Nanchang. Lia is wearing a hat knit by Ali. We were stopped at one point by a group of mostly older women who wanted to peek at the babies. Seeing us in our t-shirts makes me miss the warm weather.

Below is a video of Alison playing pat-a-cake with Lia on our third day together. I hope this makes Great Grandma Gresik happy!

Pre-order your DVD today!

AP*

*AP = attachment parenting, adoptive parent

I think it's funny that these two phrases have the same abbreviation, because they really go hand-in-hand. Adoptive parents have the challenging task of creating an attachment with their kids from scratch. This blows my mind when I think about it. Can you imagine being handed to a couple of strangers with the expectation that you'll form an intimate bond with them? It reminds me of an arranged marriage. That adoption certificate, impressive and official as it may be, does not make us Lia's parents in her eyes. Rather, we have to prove ourselves to her, win her heart and trust, to earn the title of Mama and Baba.

Thanks to the adoption resources, training from our agency, and advice from other adoptive parents, we learned a lot about how to foster attachment. Some of the parenting choices we make may seem odd, inconvenient, overprotective, or unneccessary. And indeed, they might be for homegrown kids. But in the context of adoption, they are essential. Here are some of the guidelines we're following to make sure that we can create a strong, authentic connection with our daughter:

• Shawn and I are the only ones to hold Lia. This guideline was especially hard for my mom when we were in China! But she was very understanding. If other people hold Lia, she may get confused about who her parents are supposed to be. This way, it's clear that we're the ones who give her physical comfort, and who get her from place to place. It also maximizes the opportunity for eye contact and closeness. We love our carriers, because they make it so easy and comfortable to have her in our arms, snug against our chests. We will use our strollers sparingly for now. It's not clear how long this No Holding rule will be in place, but we know it will be a firm foundation in the attachment process.
• Shawn and I are the only ones to feed, bathe, diaper, and put Lia to sleep. By meeting Lia's needs quickly, we will teach her that we can be trusted to take care of her, and she will develop positive associations with us. Rather than spoiling her or teaching her to be dependent, this responsiveness will help her feel safe and know that she can rely on us. Children who learn healthy dependence are then more secure in trying new things and venturing out.
• We will limit our time away from Lia. Deborah Gray, an expert in adoption attachment, recommends not leaving your child overnight for the first year. We will also try to avoid child care at least for the first nine months, maybe longer, and it will be a while before we leave her with a babysitter.
• We will practice co-sleeping as needed. In China, Lia slept in bed with us because 1) the cribs were flimsy and unpadded; 2) the beds were king-sized; 3) heck, we wanted to be close to her! Now that we're home, we're sleeping in a queen-sized bed next to Lia's crib. Sometimes she's okay sleeping in the crib, and sometimes it's just got to be Dad's chest. Being an arm's length away is convenient for us and comforting for her, so I think we'll keep that arrangement for now.

We may also limit visitors and outings as required. We'll see how much she can handle. Lia has been very clear in her signals about what she likes and doesn't like!

So you might be thinking, if Alison and Shawn are doing all that, what can I as a family member or friend do to develop a relationship with Lia? How about:

• Play with Lia. You can interact with her while she's in our lap or sitting on the couch or floor next to you. Right now she likes to imitate sounds, play games like peek-a-boo and pat-a-cake, and look at books. She enjoys being with people, laughing and singing, and getting kisses and caresses.
• Send us photos and videos for us to show Lia. If you're not close enough to visit, Lia can get to know you by multimedia! For example, she's enjoying the photos we have of her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
• Spend time with us. As Lia sees our attachment to you, she will know that you are also a safe person in her world. In China, my mom would hug and kiss me while Lia watched and learned that Grandma was part of the tribe too. She definitely learned Grandma's face and would look for her.

This ends the Public Service Announcement on attachment. Thanks for listening!

Zzzzzzz

Everyone is sleeping. Even the cat is sleeping. I am the only one awake.

I have had zero problems with jetlag, thanks to my superpower, which is to sleep anywhere, at the drop of a hat, for any length of time. This superpower comes in handy on camping trips, bus rides (i.e. all of high school), and rock-hard hotel mattresses. (Incidentally, Shawn's superpower is recognizing actors in movies. Not much use, but it sure is impressive. We have yet to discover Lia's superpower, but I'll keep a sharp eye out.)

Shawn has been feeling very draggy, and spent the last two evenings flaked out on the couch by 6:30 pm. Lia has continued her three naps a day while also sleeping most of the night. Please take careful note that I am not complaining about this situation. :-) We hypothesize that the stress of change and the developmental growth happening right now are wearing her out.

On Saturday, our major outing was a walk to Brie and Zach's house for a visit. Lia thought Zach was very entertaining. She wasn't so impressed with Shawn holding baby Madeline--a little jealousy, perchance?

This morning we showed up at church and were met with great delight from fellow parishioners. Lia was generous with smiles to all these new strangers, soon to become friends. It was quite moving to go up for communion as a family for the first time. Lia timed her I-need-a-nap meltdown to coincide with coffee hour, so we had to make a break for home, but we were so happy to be welcomed back by this community.

Rare photo of Shawn and Lia NOT sleeping on the couch:

Oh, and Happy Chinese New Year! Guess I'll go ... be awake by myself some more.

Babies Don't Wear Watches

And so normal life begins: no housekeeping, no breakfast buffet, no laundry service. At least, not until Auntie Jo arrives to spend Reading Week with us!

These next few weeks may be our most challenging yet--if what they say is true and it takes one day to adjust to each hour of difference in time zones, then we are in for quite the fortnight. We noticed that our normally jolly baby was more clingy and cranky today. She was especially attached to Shawn and wouldn't let him put her down. At one point, Lia was whinging on his knee and the cat, who came home from Janet's today, was begging to get into his lap. And Shawn just wanted to have a nap!

We took things slowly, unpacking and doing a little laundry. It's very strange to have Lia in the house, after all this time of preparing and imagining her here. I actually enjoy the contrast of the rose-coloured romantic dreams and the real-life solidity of the actual baby, who cries and poops and won't eat.

We look forward to venturing outside tomorrow for some sunshine to help us get past the jetlag. Lia seemed captivated by the view through the window. Could this be her first glimpse of a snowy winter?

P.S. Want to watch Lia's sleep patterns as she switches from China Standard Time to EST? We're tracking her sleep stats at Trixie Tracker.
(SdR: Oops! We didn't realize we had to make her stats public. Should be fixed now.)

We're home!

We touched down in Ottawa at 9:30 pm and were greeted by a welcoming party of Rick, Zach, Brie and Madeline. Zach and Brie also made sure we had food in the house so Lia could eat her banana when we got home. Thanks so much!

After a looong delay at the airport in Beijing (causing us to miss our Ottawa flight on the other end), the flight itself was uneventful. Thanks to strategic seat booking and a kind-hearted flight attendant, we were able to get an extra seat for Lia, so she slept for seven hours, flaked out between Ali and me. Customs and immigration in Toronto was trouble-free as well. Lia is now a permanent resident of Canada. Let me tell you, 30+ babies on a flight is definitely a surreal experience.

The 37-hour day is over and we're happily going to sleep in our own bed tonight.

Last Day

We're all feeling a little under the weather today with colds all around. Good thing we're nearing the end of our trip.

After a bit of a late rise (finally no more 6:30 wake-up calls!), we started the day with a trip to Mao's mausoleum. I'm happy to report that he's still looking good despite being dead for nearly as many years as I've been alive. The women at the entrance liked Lia so much they gave her a flower to lay at his tomb (Lia assumed it was a chew toy).

We then took a leisurely walk along Tiananmen Square over to Wanfujing Street, where we took in St. Joseph's cathedral--a Catholic church that was built in the 17th Century. We were surprised at its small stature, smaller even than the cathedral neighbouring us in Ottawa.

Ali insisted we take a quick sidetrip to the local yarn store, and she bought a couple skeins to make Lia a hat or two. Nothing like knitting her something with yarn bought in Beijing. We then finished our shopping along Wanfujing before collapsing into a taxi for a quick ride home to bed for a nap.

Ali mentioned in her last post how it's going to be hard to leave China. Before we left, China was all size and mystery to me, and I had a hard time feeling any connection to this country and its culture. Now that Lia has joined our family, the feeling of foreign-ness has been replaced with a familiarity that comes through a personal, human connection. Lia's people have become our people.

While I'm looking forward to returning to our home, family and friends, there's some sadness in taking Lia away from this place. I comfort myself knowing that we will be back, and I look forward to making China an integral part of our family culture.

Tomorrow we fly home. It's going to be a long day.

See you soon!

The Seductions of China

We had a windy day for our trek through Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. The bus dropped us at Zhengyang Gate and we walked the long way around Mao's Mausoleum towards the Gate of Heavenly Peace, mounted with Mao's portrait. My mom really wanted to see Mao in his crystal coffin, so we may go back tomorrow to tour through the mausoleum. We studiously ignored the vendors, although Shawn would have liked to buy a paper kite--the wind made for good flying today.

We had a group photo taken against the backdrop of the Gate of Heavenly Peace. Lia, who had been sleeping snugly against Shawn's chest, woke as we made our way into the Forbidden City. She does love being outdoors, not hiding her face from the wind but peeping over the carrier, anxious to see everything going on.

The Forbidden City is an enormous complex, more like a fortress than a palace, with gate after gate opening onto spacious cobbled courtyards. Some sections are being restored in time for the 2008 Beijing Olympics. We made it to the Hall of Supreme Harmony before some in the group succombed to the cold and wind and returned to the hotel by taxi. The rest of us pressed on, inspired by the promise of Starbucks halfway through the tour (yes, there is a well-camouflaged Starbucks franchise doing brisk business within the walls of the Imperial Palace. Thanks for the heads-up on that one, Taylor!)

We loved the names of the various halls and palaces. Inspired, we have decided to rename our study The Hall of Mental Cultivation, and Lia's bedroom is now the Palace of Scrupulous Behaviour. The living room can be the Palace of Gathering Excellence.

A favourite section was the Inner Court and the Imperial Garden, which were more intimate and decorative spaces.

Click the photo to view a slideshow of our shots from Tiananmen and the Forbidden City

This afternoon Shawn, Lia and I set out for the Silk Market to purchase our last gifts. What would have been a twenty-minute walk down the road turned into a forty-five minute bus ride because of the traffic. Early in the trip, our bus clipped the mirror on a van (the van's fault, I'm sure). The van chased us down through the streets, eventually cutting us off and then stopping dead in the lane ahead of us. Our bus driver got out and began exchanging words with the other driver, who was apparently pretending that his van had just broken down and wouldn't start again. Our driver and guide would have none of it, and eventually the van pulled away again--we could see the driver muttering at us as we continued on our way.

I did much better with my bartering today, and began to get into the game of it. Once I said, "My friends will laugh at me if I pay that much!" and the saleswomen quickly replied, "Don't worry about your friends." Another time a vendor and I faced off squarely, with me repeating "One eighty-five" in reply to her slowly shrinking counter-offers as we stared each other down. I got four pairs of shoes for Lia, a set of chopsticks, and another suitcase to bring it all home in!

Our evening ended with a sumptuous Peking Duck dinner. I'd never had duck like that--each piece has some skin and fat as well as meat, and the morsels had a liquid richness to them that reminded me of foie gras (same animal, I suppose!) We ate as much as we could and still left many full dishes on the table. Most other nights it's been more fun for me to feed Lia than to eat myself, but not tonight! We tied her into the high chair, stuck a teething biscuit in her hand, and left her to fend for herself.

We can't believe that tomorrow is our last full day in China. The time has flown by. We can feel the country sinking its hooks into us with each new taste, each person we converse with, each new vision of the city and countryside. It's just a start, but we know that China will become part of us, in much the way that Holland is: seldom visited, perhaps, but definitely in the bloodstream.

The Checkup

Medicals today. We left the hotel at 8:15 am and didn't return until 1 pm. We had the exams at an international clinic in the embassy district. The doctor who checked out Lia was from Montreal.

Apart from a cold, Lia is in excellent health. At 16 pounds and 69 cm long, she's at the 10th percentile for weight and the 15th percentile for height--all within the normal range, but she's not going to be outgrowing her mama anytime soon. We were pleased to hear that all the kids in our group passed with clean bills of health. (Lia did NOT like being held by the nurse or doctor. It's amazing that within one week we have become her safe people.)

This afternoon Alison and Brenda were off to the Pearl Market while Lia and I spent some quality time together. Although I'm not sure if it was such a good idea for Alison to take the credit card with her ...

For the past week Alison and I have been in a state of being blissed out in our newfound parenthood. This afternoon the first bit of reality set in for me. I was trying to get Lia to sleep after lunch and she was having none of it, being too worked up from the stressful trip to the doctor's office. Since I was a bit tired too, I got frustrated, the first hit of parental aggravation that I know I'm going to experience many times over in the months and years to come. Don't get me wrong, I'm still loving it all -- like the 3 hours I got her to myself this afternoon -- I just had a small reality check today. I'm just glad she's not asking for the car keys yet. ;-)

And since it was a slow day photgraphy-wise, here's a little taste of our daily life: Lia enjoying her rice cereal as per usual.

Up the Great Wall and Down Again

Today was the epic visit to the Great Wall of China. Things didn't start off well--after recovering from last week's cold, I went to bed with a sore throat last night and was much worse this morning. I thought I had strep, and spoke to the pediatrician travelling with us who had some extra antibiotics. He suspected it was viral, since many others in our group had something similar. I soldiered on--nothing was going to keep me away from the Great Wall!

Our first stop was at a government jade factory, where we received an entertaining lecture about the different types and qualities of jade. We saw a demonstration workshop, where several women were polishing jade carvings with tools that looked very familiar from my dad's dental office! Then they led us into the showrooms of jade goods for sale. Even though it was a government shop, they were still doing a very hard sell. You couldn't look in a display case for more than five seconds without having a salesperson come up to you, urging you to buy something and telling you how the item would bring you luck or longevity.

I picked out a jade bracelet, very pale green with just a small patch of emerald. Apparently the tradition is that these bracelets are passed on from mothers to daughters when they marry. To put on the bracelet, they put my elbow on the counter and had me make a loose fist. Then they put a plastic bag over my hand and slid the bracelet down--very slick!

Just before we left, Shawn was admiring some jade carvings. The saleswoman started in, describing the quality of the jade, the intricacy of the carving, even showing off the box it comes packed in! We nodded and smiled, not intending to buy anything else. She saw I had bought a bracelet and confided that she could get us a special price, discount, and scurried off to find her manager. Several lower figures were entered into the calculator, but we named the highest amount we could pay, which was still about 50% of the original cost.

More scurrying, another manager, and to our surprise, a bill was made out for the figure we had named. Shh, the manager said, don't tell, it's a secret, okay? (You're not supposed to barter at the government stores.) So, we are now the happy owners of this lovely carving. Shawn likes it because its a parent bird feeding a fledgling.

Another short bus ride and we arrived at the main event: two hours stop at the Great Wall. It's more like a Great Staircase at this point--we ventured up the Wall to the right from the parking lot, and climbed a lot! The old stones are very worn down in places, and some stairs are much taller than standard. Thank goodness for all those step aerobics workouts I've been doing! Shawn had Lia in the carrier but he didn't seem to get winded at all.

My mom was not feeling so well, so she just stayed in the lower flat section of the Wall. I'll let her tell that story. (She's doing better now, don't want to alarm you.) We struck off up the Wall, trying to leave the crowds behind. It felt good to exert ourselves in the clean, cool air. Our first hiking trip with a child! Lia slept most of the way up and down (she's asleep in the photo below). We paused every so often to take photos and video. And because we're competitive and hardcore, we kept going until we reached the tower at the very top of this section. Only one other couple from our group made it as far as we did.

Click the photo for a slideshow of our photos from today

The views from this height were amazing. We took our time and didn't get back to the bus until five minutes before we were supposed to leave. And now, because we have climbed the wall, we are real men (or so the saying goes)!

(SdR: I'm having issues with what Ben calls "The Great Firewall of China"
and the brief video above of our view on top of the Wall may not work
right away. I think I found a way 'round it though.)

Lia seems to have a cold today, and was a little more fussy than usual, which is to say, still not very fussy. She is proving to be a very adaptable, good-natured baby, for whom we are absurdly grateful.

I have cared for many children in my life, as a babysitter and a sister and an aunt, but being a mother is different by several orders of magnitude. Before there was always a limit to the intimacy I had with a child. No matter how much a kid might like me, the mother was always primary, of course. Now I'm the one who gets to hog all the kisses, and hold her when she cries, the expert on what she likes to eat and what makes her laugh. And that feels fantastic.

Oh, and my throat started feeling a lot better when we were in the jade factory. Perhaps all that green stone has healing properties ...

Rest Day in Beijing

We're now back in Beijing at the International Hotel. This hotel feels much more upscale after our experience at the Gloria in Nanchang, with MUCH more comfortable beds. We're not complaining about our experience in Jiangxi though, as the warmer climate certainly made up for any lack of creature comforts.

This morning I was happy to get a decent latte at Starbucks. If I have one complaint about this country, it's the lack of good joe. I paid 28 yuan, which is equivalent to Canadian prices. Though it made me feel a little guilty when I realized I was paying a rickshaw driver's daily wages for a cup of coffee.

The two-hour flight yesterday afternoon was a trial run for our trip home in one week, and Lia passed with flying colours. We just kept feeding her Nutrios as we took off and landed to help her adjust to the altitude changes, and she was smiles pretty much the whole way.

This morning was "paperworks" (how our guide says it, which reminds me of waterworks, which is appropriate since it certainly is a deluge) and a photo of Lia for her Canadian visa. This afternoon I'm getting fitted for a tailored suit, all arranged by our guide. Tomorrow we visit the Great Wall, so I'm sure we'll have lots more photos to post.

In the meantime, here's a brief video of "Drooly Andrews", as Alison likes to call her.

10 Months Old

Happy 10 months, my little bao bao. Tonight will mark five full days that we have been together. And what a five days those have been! This morning as I held you while you fell asleep, you whispered "ba ba". We are slowly becoming a family.

Your ba ba

Context

This morning we took an hour's bus trip into the countryside of Jiangxi. We visited a historic rural village, established over a thousand years ago under the shade of an ancient tree. Legend has it that a family found a great treasure under the tree, having been told of the treasure in a dream, and established the village there.

We enjoyed this visit immensely. To get away from the noise and bustle and smog of the city, to see rice fields, mountains, and trees, and walk in the brisk woodsmoke-scented air was a wonderful change. The village itself was criss-crossed with rough stone alleys and pathways, and the old houses have open roofs to let in light.

The village is still populated by about 3,000 people, and we walked past old women gardening, young children in thick sweaters and split pants standing in doorways. One couple was making a mattress by hand. Shopkeepers sold fruit and vegetables. Stately music played in the square in honour of a person who had recently died.

Lia grew up in a village similar to this one. Small houses surrounded by rice fields, and children wandering everywhere. Simpler, by some standards, than our Western lives. Our visit reminded me that it is impossible to call our life better; different, yes, but not better.

Which brings me to my thoughts about context. In the midst of our bliss at becoming parents, I can never forget the context that has made our parenthood possible.

The joy and delight that we enjoy from Lia's presence in our lives is predicated on the great loss experienced by Lia herself, her birth family, and her foster mother. The mystery and paradox of adoption is always at the back of our minds. To live with this paradox, we have to acknowledge that separation is an injustice suffered by birth families and adopted children. Whatever reasons parents have for relinquishing or abandoning their children, we believe (as parents and human beings) that this decision is never truly a choice, but a course of action forced on parents by such things as poverty, cultural or social mores, and family pressures. Even as we revel in our daughter's re-emerging smiles, we commit our family to working for adoption reform and justice for families at risk of adoption loss.

In a world with economic and social justice, Lia would stay here to be raised by the parents who birthed her. Although we can't change the wrongs of her past, we can give her all the good we can possible offer.

And we will never be able to completely take Lia away from this place. She might sojourn in Canada, but an important part of her will always be Fu Na Fei of Yingtan, Jiangxi Province, China.

On February 9, Lia turns ten months old. In your thoughts and prayers tomorrow, please remember Lia's birth family, and all those who have suffered adoption loss.

Quiet Day

A shorter post today as the day was relatively uneventful. This morning Alison ordered a chop, or stamp, which will have Lia's Chinese name embossed on it, as well as a scroll with our family names in Chinese. We should receive them when we get back to Beijing.

After lunch a group of us took a short trip to the People's Park in the middle of Nanchang. The park was quite pretty, and the group of us ended up being quite an attraction for the locals. At one point we were surrounded by a large group of old women fussing and pointing at the babies. Thank goodness for the carrier as it discouraged them from grabbing for Lia as they were doing to the children in the strollers. A couple of parents got lectured for keeping their babies' legs bare, in spite of the fact that it was nearly 20 degrees out.

We then bussed over to porcelain row to shop for Jingdezhen porcelain. Before we went into the shops we were taught this handy way to tell if the porcelain is authentic: if it's "as white as jade, as bright as a mirror, as thin as paper, and as sonorous as a bell chime." To show us the quality of the merchandise, the shopkeeper would hold the porcelain up to a light to show its translucence and then bang two pieces together so we could hear the quality of the tone. Except she did it really hard, which made us all a little nervous.

Our guides took us out for dinner tonight at a local restaurant and we had a fabulous dinner of local cuisine, all for about $5 per person, including drinks. For those of you (Marc) who warned me that I would lose weight on this trip, it's been quite the opposite, as I'm enjoying every meal immensely. The kids in our group love to eat too and (depending on their age) are wolfing down fruit, dumplings, bok choy, steamed egg and congee, in addition to their regular baby food of formula and rice cereal.

We sent out our laundry yesterday and it came back today all neatly folded and individually wrapped in cellophane. Funny.

As for Lia (and I know that's why you're all reading this blog), she continues to take small steps forward. This morning at breakfast she was downright rowdy, hopping up and down and shouting out in delight. She's going to be ready for a high chair soon. Tonight we tried turning her around to face forward in the carrier, and she seemed to enjoy that quite a bit. She's also sleeping a lot at night and during the day -- this whole experience must be completely exhausting for her. She's revealing herself to be a child of extreme emotions, happy one moment and angry the next; but then what else would you expect from an Aries, eh Elizabeth? ;-)

Good night.

My Voice

Here's what I have to say today (Windows Media file).

Hello World

Confidential to Belle in Grand Rapids: Thanks for the threads, cuz! You really know your style. Can't wait to meet up for the baptism. Do you know what you're wearing yet? Oh, and I saw Grandma buying stuff for you today, but I promised I wouldn't tell what it is.

Confidential to Mads in Ottawa: Yo, girlfriend. The 'rents won't let me sign up on MSN until I'm 18 (months, that is). In the meantime, I'm learning the baby sign. They'll never know what we're saying. When I get back to Ottawa, can I borrow your Bumbo chair? I'm still getting the hang of sitting upright.

A Good Day

It's not even been 48 hours since we received her, and we already feel as though we've known little Lia forever (we're still mostly calling her by her Chinese name as it's what she responds to). We couldn't be a better match for each other, and she seems equally comfortable with both of us. She still has moments of sadness, but mostly she's thoughtful and serious, content to examine our faces or one of her toys.

Last night was a good night. Even though she took 5 naps during the day, she went right to sleep at 7:15 and slept through the night to 7 am. I had her to myself, as Alison slept in Brenda's room because she's coming down with a cold (much better today), and I was sorely tempted to wake Lia this morning, but I didn't. And today, she's been much more active, bouncing around a bit and generally more enthusiastic. She's such a treasure, and we've completely fallen for her coal black eyes and tiny pursed lips.

The trip to the Jiangxi Province Center for Adoption Services yesterday was a bit of a nightmare. We had to line up for each room--fee payment, official interview, family photo, and meet-and-greet with the orphanage director--and it felt a bit like moving through Dante's Inferno, with all of us parents, kids and adoption officials packed into a tiny office space with children screaming everywhere. Through it all, Lia sat contentedly on my front in the carrier and hardly fussed at all. Things got a lot worse just before we left, as in the midst of everything, a large group of Americans arrived to receive their babies! We quickly left the office and finished the day with a quick trip to the notary public to receive Lia's adoption certificate. So it's finally official, she's our baby!

The director of the Yingtan orphanage was really wonderful and we learned that she gave Na Fei her lovely name. We passed along a gift and letter for her foster mother, which my colleague Hong Mei had so graciously translated into Mandarin for us. The letter expresses our appreciation for her care for Na Fei and asks her to write us so we can send her photos and updates in the future.

Today has been a fairly quiet day. At 10 am we took a trip to the local state-run department store to buy clothes and supplies. We bought a few outfits for Lia (nine-month size fits her perfectly) and a couple of special items for when she's a bit older. At this moment, Alison is meeting a seamstress upstairs to buy a couple of silk dresses for Lia and herself. They should be ready by the time we leave on Friday.

We're still getting used to going through this process with a group of other parents. The group has been great--everyone's really nice and helpful, and good parents to their new children--but becoming a parent is such a personal experience, and I find it weird to share it with a group of people we hardly know. We've handled it so far by keeping Lia in our room as much as possible and taking turns going for meals or other errands. Not only has it allowed her to remain peaceful, it's given both of us some alone time with her. As she gets more comfortable, we'll start taking her out more. She seems to take things very slowly, and we're just following her cues. The carriers have helped a lot, as they satisfy her need to stay close but give her enough freedom to look around at everything. We can't believe how much this child loves to snuggle (and I can't believe I'm using that word). The rest of this evening should be pretty quiet.

I'll close by saying that while we haven't been able to respond individually, we really appreciate all the comments and emails we receive. We love waking up each morning to check the blog and our email and we're really grateful to receive your words of support and encouragement from home.

Oh, and Taylor, I still haven't found a fake egg for you yet. Strange black eggs at breakfast, yes; fake eggs, no.

Rare Smile

We couldn't resist posting a photo of Lia's smile, even though she only looks this way for one percent of the time at the moment.

We had a good night, with Lia sleeping in bed between us. She woke at 2:30 am and again for good at 5:30 am, but she's had several short naps (she's sleeping in Shawn's carrier as I type). So far we have not taken her out of the room since we received her. She still has occasionally bursts of crying, but they're getting shorter and further between. When she cries like this, she doesn't want anything except to be held tightly (and we gladly oblige).

We're off this afternoon to finalize paperwork.

We uploaded more photos to Flickr--click the photo above to see them.

Here She Is!

Click the photo to see more shots of Lia Na-Fei at Flickr

There's a little firebrand fast asleep on our bed right now. She's everything she was billed to be, and then some. This girl doesn't have a "big cry" (as her referral described her), she has a huge cry, as she screamed bloody murder for a good hour after we received her.

The handover process was choatic; it all took place in a tiny, hot room, packed with babies in fancy snow suits, anxious parents and a gaggle of orphanage staff. Instead of waiting to talk to the orphanage workers, we ended up leaving pretty quickly after receiving our children as it was too overwhelming for them. We each went up to our own rooms, and a couple of hours later our tour guide came by and gave us the information from the orphanage.

We knew when we received her that she was hungry. But she refused to take a bottle, and she only ate a bit of rice cereal. She seemed to get equally upset when she looked at Alison or me, but I made a few funny faces with her and she responded immediately. This girl loves to laugh, and it didn't take too much coaxing before we turned those screams into smiles. She also loves music. Alison had thoughtfully loaded some Chinese folk songs and lullabies on the computer, and as soon as she heard the music, Na Fei began to bob her head up and down. We even have video of the two of us singing "da da da" together (I'm pretending we're singing my praises).

After she settled down, she really wolfed down the remaining rice cereal. She loved sitting on the bed with us and playing with the few colourful toys we gave her. We're thrilled that she's taken to both of us, and she seems to like it best when the three of us are together so she can look at both our faces. Around 8:30 Alison was able to get her to settle down pretty quickly, and she's now fast asleep on our bed. Apparently she's a steady sleeper, and we're curious to see what happens when she wakes up tomorrow morning (or in the middle of the night!).

All in all, the experience was more than we could have hoped for. We expected Na Fei to have a difficult time with losing her foster mother and adjusting to us, but we never expected her to turn around so quickly after receiving her.

We haven't been able to inspect her too closely yet, although we did try some nine-month size shoes on her, which just fit. Her complexion is darker than in her referral photos (probably the flash washed her out) but we can definitely see the resemblence to her five-month self.

Tomorrow: paperwork!

Eve of Adoption Day

Day 2 in Beijing has been more active. Shawn started the morning with an early run to Tiananmen Square, in time to catch the flag raising ceremony. He felt a little conspicuous as one of only three runners on the streets downtown, but the exercise and fresh air were invigorating.

Next came a rickshaw tour of the Hutong (alleys) of old Beijing. My mom had a rickshaw to herself and looked like a queen under her lap robe! We wound through the narrow alleyways, peering into open doorways, and at one point stopped to be invited into a resident's living room. Shawn was fascinated by the multitude of bird cages, and we learned that almost 100,000 people live in this part of old Beijing, sharing common public washrooms, and using charcoal in their stoves. Our hostess was a retired accountant, and proudly showed off her son's cricket fighting certificate and offered candies to the two children in the group.

We were dogged by street vendors, some on bicycles, thrusting postcards and silk scarves in our faces. My mother succombed and bought some postcards for five yuan, to the great delight of the vendor. We were cycled by the Ten Temple Sea, which reminded us a lot of Dows Lake (except for the temples). Despite the warmish weather and melting ice, many people were skating and ice fishing.

In the afternoon, Shawn and I went to the Beijing Acrobatic performance--shades of Cirque de Soleil. My favourite part involved twelve women in lime green costumes all suspended on a moving bicycle. But it's really all distraction before the main event ...

For dinner we went back to the same restaurant where we ate last night (Our Own Restaurant, Home l y-Dishes). The waiter is taking quite a shine to us--a sweet-faced 21-year-old who likes practicing his English with us, hanging around our table and pouring fresh tea at every opportunity. When he found out we were adopting Chinese babies, he wanted to know if we would adopt him! So far we've had lemon chicken, fried roast pork, stir-fried spinach and snow peas, and fried dumplings. We've steered clear of the pig intestines with spicy pepper, duck jaw, and various entrees on the theme of blood, for now :-)

Tomorrow morning we leave for the airport at 9:30 am. Our flight to Nanchang is at 11:30 am, and we arrive at our hotel around 2 pm. The children are coming from four different orphanages in Jiangxi, and are being brought to a conference room in our hotel around 5 pm. Pandamonium will ensue, I'm sure. We both feel excited, but also quite calm and prepared.

Next post: photos of Lia! Crying, no doubt, but our little girl nonetheless.

P.S. Check out the Granny Report at brenda.gresik.ca. My mom has joined the blogging world!

Intro to Beijing

We've had a nice slow first day in Beijing. Up at seven, breakfast buffet at eight. Mom left for the Summer Palace at ten, and we hung out in our hotel room until after eleven. The Internet is a wonderful thing--we love being able to stay in touch with people when we're so far away. It means a lot to know that you all are thinking about us!

Before lunch we headed out on a walk to the nearby shopping district. The first order of business was to find a Starbucks so Shawn could get his mid-morning caffeine hit. And we were successful. Apparently "tall latte" translates in Beijing. Then we found a six-story bookstore(!) where we could get an English guidebook to the city (we were too busy to pick one up before we left). We wandered the street, getting used to the crowds of people going by. In one way, we feel pretty comfortable here, used to the traveler's sense of displacement in a new country. And of course, it helps to have a guide answering all our questions! But at the same time, we are conspicuous as foreigners. When we walked down a market alley, we were like a magnet, attracting the vigorous attention of the market vendors as they grabbed our elbows and insisted "Lady! Look! Cheap, cheap!"

Mom had her own adventures at the Summer Palace and the Silk Market, but I'll let her share those.

Oh, and click here to see my knitting for the last two months.

First Light

View from our hotel room this morning.

Landed!

We made it to Beijing safe and sound, all luggage intact and only a bit behind schedule. There were 7 of us families travelling early together on the flight from Vancouver.

Alison slept only a few hours on the plane, and she's in her pyjamas crashed out on the bed at the moment. Brenda and I both slept more so we're feeling pretty good.

Tomorrow Brenda goes to the Summer Palace for a tour, and we have elected to stay at the hotel to collect ourselves. Will post more later.