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Equilibrium?

After the turmoil of our trip, we are finally approaching equilibrium. Daylight savings time was another bump in the sleep schedules, but I think we're almost in the clear on that front: Nico slept from 8 pm to 7:30 am the last two nights!

But just when we're settling back into our normal routines, I think of what Han Kun is adjusting to. After fourteen months of hearing and learning Mandarin, he's suddenly thrown into English. Strange new food like quinoa and oatmeal, although he hasn't refused anything we've offered him! Kid loves his dinner. New beds (crib + Pack and Play + living room couch as we figure out how to get two kids to sleep in one room) and new sleep routines--I have no idea how they put him to sleep at the orphanage, and I'm kicking myself that I didn't ask. One thing I learned is that his self-soothing method is to hold his arms over his face, two fingers gripped in the other fist, and rub his mouth against his sleeve. So I dress him in his puffy snowsuit top from Adoption Day to give him more fabric to rub against, and it seems to help.

Nico seems happy in the midst of all this change, but I can't help thinking about what he's losing/lost. Yesterday we went to a Mandarin playgroup, and when the leader started singing songs he crawled right over, plopped down and started swaying to the music. At fifteen months, he understands when people speak to him in Mandarin. In the nursery at Ascension last Sunday, our Chinese friend Sula said a few things to him and his face lit up, he was clearly delighted.

So even as I take comfort from being home, where things are familiar and easy, I want to remember that my son is not having the same experience, and that he will never be able to return to his first home. Yes, he seems to like the new one, but that doesn't erase the loss of the other.