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Moms Don't Get Sick Leave

I have a terrible head cold. Yesterday Shawn stayed home from work so I got a little break but today I suffered through one of my worst mornings evah: stoned on cold medication, sore nose, sniffly, lymph glands the size of walnuts. All I wanted to do was crawl in bed. Instead I dragged myself and kids to playgroup and I fought the urge to lie down on the couch and fall asleep.

We got back home and then I was treated to a monster tantrum from Lia because a) I would not give her a lollipop; b) I insisted she sit in her booster seat with the straps on; c) we had a strident disagreement about who was in charge. "I'm the mommy! You're the little kid!" she screamed at me, snot running down her face. I felt this was an important point to make clear so I kept telling her "I'm the mommy. I take care of you. I'll always take care of you." I picked her up and she continued to scream and hit my back.

Somewhere in there I put Nico to bed (bless his easy-going heart) and tried to put Lia in bed and came back downstairs because she was screaming "I want my dinner!" and I made her a cheese sandwich and by this time she had screamed herself hoarse and was choking and gagging. I got down in front of her and she yelled "My throat hurts!" It was like she was demon-possessed and her eyes were begging me to help her get out of this tantrum. So I hugged her and sang her a calming song and tried to get her to do deep breaths and Thank Murgatroyd she stopped crying and ate her cheese sandwich and only cried a little when I put her to bed and then she slept for 2.5 hours?!?!?

All is forgiven because after her nap we went for a walk and she was holding my hand and she said "You're a nice mommy. I like you." So I said "You're a nice girl. I like you too."

[I fear Nico is getting sadly neglected in these anecdotes because he is such a dreamboat right now and Lia is the dramatic one. I can tell you that he's really starting to sign: we've seen ball, daddy, eat (food), dirty, and milk. His favourites are monkey and gorilla; I'll have to get some footage of that. In the meantime, here he is drinking from a cup and nearly choking himself and then cackling with delight.]

Silver Lining

Tomorrow I'm leaving on a 24-hour mini vacation to Toronto for my sister Joanna's thesis show--she's graduating from Humber's Interior Design program. My first night away from the children since January! I'm looking forward to the solitude of driving and the luxury of dressing up without having my earrings pulled and my blouse sneezed on. Can't wait to see Joey's final project!

Tonight Shawn and Lia showed me their latest trick.

Cirque, here we come. She has outgrown her Parent and Child gymnastics classes ... hopefully ballet will give her a new challenge.

Making God Laugh

I'm just now getting my balance back after being throw off-kilter by the postponement of the surgery. For several weeks, everything was focused on preparing myself and the family for the big event and suddenly ... it wasn't happening. The next few weeks felt devoid of meaning and event.

I find the most challenging part of parenting two kids is staying positive in the midst of unpredictability. I never know when a sleeping child will wake, or get sick, or have a tantrum, or skip a nap, or the daycare will close. So I am responsible for responding in a way that doesn't wreck my mood or my day. Partly it's surrendering to reality, and partly it's taking responsibility for my own mental state.

The Thursday of the cancelled surgery was especially hard. Our regular playgroup was cancelled too so I decided to do something extra special to buoy my spirits. The kids and I took the bus to the Experimental Farm and visited the horses and cows and bunnies and baby lambs (Baby Lambs! Cute Overload!). The sun was out and it was a magical morning.

Friday we were thrown for another loop: Lia was dressed in her new leotard and tutu skirt, ready for her first ballet class, when the recreation centre called telling us the teacher was sick. Oh the tears! (Lia cried too ...) Now what would we do with our morning? I quickly concocted an outing to the Glebe, where we hit a boisterous playgroup, ate delicious crepes at Wild Oat, and used a gift certificate for some chocolate truffles. Awesome day until Lia didn't nap (again, it's getting to be a pattern) and then had a ferocious meltdown when I wouldn't let her have another truffle. I've got some great footage of her screaming "CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!" while trying to beat down a baby gate to get to the kitchen (I had to videotape her to prevent myself from having a meltdown).

On the weekend I was still in a funk. Nothing seemed worth doing. Yesterday morning was the low point: Lia threw up her breakfast, which meant she couldn't go to daycare. "She doesn't seem that sick," Shawn said consolingly.

"I wish she were, she'd be easier to look after!" I blurted.

"That was a terrible thing to say," I added a moment later. I was wishing my child ill so she'd be more manageable. Not the high point of my mothering career.

Anyway, we got through the day. We made Jello and watched Paddle-to-the-Sea. And today she went back to daycare and I revelled in Nico's three hour nap.

"If you want to make God laugh, tell Her your plans."

Plans Change

I'm working on a long post about Nico's health and development, plus we've got news and pictures from Lia's birthday and Easter. But I wanted to quickly report that Nico was supposed to have palate repair surgery in two days, and it's been postponed because he's got a cold and possible ear infection. The new surgery date is May 21.

We were hoping this wouldn't happen; it's difficult to get all prepared and then have plans change. But it's not really in our control; we can only do so much to keep him healthy, short of full quarantine. So we'll see what May brings.

P.S. Nico is seventeen months old today! He marked the occasion by drinking milk from a cup by himself for the first time.

Mimic

Shawn was at Ultimate tonight, so I was putting both kids to bed. Usually Shawn gets Lia down while I look after Nico, so I enjoyed the chance to read to her. Wrangling two squirmy, screamy kids into pyjamas was not as fun, but whatevs. When the time came to turn off the light, she didn't want me to leave the room. "Stay and rock Nico, Mommy." How can you say no to a precious almost-three-year-old saying, "Don't go, Mommy" in a tremulous voice?

So I sat and rocked Nico. He settled into the familiar horizontal position, one arm flung over his face. Lia was quiet as requested but instead of staying in bed she roamed around the room, collecting and spreading blankets, climbing around the outside of the crib. I closed my eyes and almost drifted off to sleep to the sounds of Steven Curtis Chapman singing "Cinderella" on endless repeat.

When I opened my eyes, Lia had bundled Yo-Yo in her yellow quilt and sat down in her kid-sized rocking chair. She was propping him in her arms, fussing with his wrappings. And here's the part that nearly slayed me: she tucked one precarious ankle up onto her other leg (just like Mommy) and rocked herself with her foot (just like Mommy). My heart broke open.