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Kid Garden

Longtan Park, Beijing

I think we may have found a school for Lia to attend while we're here. It's not the one I first saw when I checked out the apartment--that one wanted six-months' tuition up front (25,000 yuan or about $4000 CAD) even though she'd only be there for two months. I gather there is high demand for the school so they are able to charge a lot.

Our friend asked around and found another spot that is not so expensive. In fact, she negotiated a deal whereby Lia will attend for free and I will help with the children's English lessons on Fridays. We visited last Thursday and Lia's attention was riveted on the central courtyard where the children were playing. I'm sure she misses her daycare and playgroups and church friends back home.

The director of the school (our friend calls it a kid-garden) told me that this is a place for common people's children, not for rich families, and she wondered whether Lia would be able to play with the kids. I assured her that Lia shouldn't have any problem. I've been turning over in my mind what she thinks might distinguish common kids from rich ones, or how they might play or get along differently. We're really interested in how children are raised here and how it differs from our culture of parenting in Canada. So we keep our eyes and ears open. Observations for another post ...

In order for Lia and I to spend time at the school, we needed to get daycare medical checks. So we spent Friday morning at two different health clinics, traipsing from room to room getting different procedures done. I had my blood pressure taken in one place, then switched floors for a chest x-ray, back up to get blood drawn (they're checking for H1N1, among other things), and another room for a "female exam".

Some choice observations of signage:

Two cancer screening
The woman checks the room
Antemarital examination

We should get the medical results today, and there's a possibility Lia could start attending school this week. But Thursday is October 1, National Day and the start of a week's holidays, so she may not begin until after that.

I'm excited about working at the school and spending some time with the kids. I may be looking for advice on teaching English to young children! They do have an English teacher already but she is Chinese so they are happy to have a native English speaker to help.

We are also working on finding a babysitter in the evenings. I asked Susan about it (a Chinese woman with Canadian citizenship who lives in our complex and speaks English), thinking she might have a regular sitter we could borrow. But it seems the usual practice is to have an ayi or nanny who does daytime and evening childcare.

So I'm gathering that occasional sitters aren't really standard practice (in Susan's experience, anyway). She said they either take their kids out with them or just stay home. Maybe I will work up the nerve to suggest some childcare swapping. There are restaurants and theatre and movies Shawn and I would like to see without the kids in tow, and the thought of another two months without a night out is daunting!

Homesick

"I want to go home to Can-dada!"

I've gone through a range of responses since I first heard this demand from Lia.

My first reaction was denial. She's just jetlagged/bored/disoriented. She tantrums at home too, she's just found a different excuse.

Second reaction was guilt. Crap, I'm a selfish parent who's torn her kid away from her comfortable routine and dragged her halfway around the world.

What I've settled on now is curiosity. We're trying to do the whole "empathic listening" thing, repeating back what she's said, asking why she wants to go home or what she doesn't like here.

I'm also telling myself that this is good for her. We want China to be part of our kids' lives, a real place and not some blank or fantasy, and there would have been culture shock no matter when we visited (for Lia, anyway. Nico seems unfazed by our change of venue, maybe because he's only been in Canada for six months?)

A sampling of what Lia has observed on the differences between Ottawa and Beijing:

"I smell something" (while walking along the street)
"I want to go home where there are more English people" (that is, "people who speak English")
"It's noisy" (you can hear construction, horns honking, people shouting, and dogs barking 24x7)
"Our house is bigger than this one--no, it's not a bit bigger, it's a lot bigger!"
"Our playroom is in the living room, not in the bedroom"
"The floor is dirty" (open windows + Beijing dust = mandatory house slippers)

We're ending our second week in the apartment and the tearful requests to go home have lessened. Hopefully she's getting more comfortable. Shawn has certainly been showing her a good time at the city parks and playgrounds. A highlight this week was seeing manta rays swim over her head in the viewing tunnel at the Blue Zoo (Beijing Aquarium). And buying a pair of sparkly, knock-off Lelli Kellys at the Yashow market yesterday didn't hurt either.

Kick-Ass Chinese Massage = Awesome Birthday

We have about ten zillion things to blog about, but I'm going to describe my Chinese body massage for you because 1) it was all kinds of awesome and 2) if I don't do it now I might forget.

Shawn found the Bodhi Therapeutic Retreat for me. The massage was in a private room and I got a clean pair of pyjamas to wear and ordered a glass of iced milk tea (yum). I had a male masseuse (I've read that this is to balance out the ying and yang) and let me tell you, he was VIGOROUS. I've had lots of massages in Canada but this guy had moves I'd never seen. There were times when he pushed so hard on my back it forced the air right out of my lungs. When he kneaded my muscles, my hips and head shook. The whole thing was very rhythmic, like being pummeled by a pile driver. At one point my body was like an instrument and he was drumming and smacking out a melody with his hands.

Sometimes I had to do the yoga thing where you stop labeling a sensation as painful and just observe and absorb and breathe into it. I found that when I stopped resisting the pressure and allowed it to sink in, the discomfort often transformed into pleasure. (I'm sure there's a metaphor for travel in there somewhere).

The experience took me completely out of my head because I had to stay focused on my body in order to handle the intensity. And being prodded and jerked around like a rag doll brought me out of the clouds by showing me the dimensions of my arms and legs and shoulders.

What a wonderful way to get grounded after these head-spinning few weeks. You can bet I'm going back. Many thanks to my hubby for making it happen!

Happy Birthday Ali!

Photo by: Shawna Cameron

This year Ali got a 12-hour headstart on her birthday. The day included breakfast crepes, family lunch out in San Li Tun, a massage, and dinner out with Lily. Fun day!

Temple of the Sun

Today I took the bold step of venturing out on a field trip with both kids by myself. I have so far been intimidated by the idea of managing both kids out on my own as I'm unable to use our double stroller much beyond our complex, not to mention on the subway. The streets here are not very accessible. Sidewalks are intermittent and curb ramps nonexistent, meaning we have to lift the stroller at every corner or laneway. So going out with the two of them by myself means that Nico has to go in the carrier while Lia has to walk, putting me at the mercy of her short little legs to get anywhere while I wait for the inevitable, "My legs are not WORKING!"

Ritan Park, otherwise known as The Temple of the Sun, seemed like a good destination for our first outing. It's only a couple of subway stops plus a line switch away from our place, and it promised some good amenities for the kids. Apart from the accessibility issue, taking the subway here is great. The line by our house is really close, brand new, and only costs 2 yuan (~35 cents) per trip. On the way over, Lia was in great spirits and we enjoyed walking through the tree-lined streets of the embassy district south of the park.

The park itself was a huge hit. It was like a miniature Temple of Heaven, originally built in 1530 during the reign of Ming emperor Jiajing as a sacrificial altar to the sun--one of imperial Beijing's four historical altars. It had a small, cheap amusement park with antiquated rides and activities that kept the kids busy for a couple of hours. We then slowly made our way to the north end, stopping to gawk at the various groups of retirees who were singing, playing games or exercising throughout the park. In the video below, you'll see one heavy-set septuagenarian who was spinning around on a high bar for the longest time--quite the sight! (The clacking you hear in the background is a trio of tap dancers right behind us.) Maybe this will inspire Grandpa to get back to his gymnastics!

All was going well until I started looking for a cab at the north gate to take us home. Unfortunately, I didn't have a proper map to our place and only had the address in pinyin, which none of the three cabbies I approached could read! So we ended up having to walk all the way back to the subway, stopping for some food and a treat or two to keep Lia inspired to continue on. Despite the heat and her fatigue, we made it back okay, with me only having to carry the two of them a couple of times. Lesson learned!

Tonight the kids finally made it out to the fountains in our complex's courtyard after dinner. Due to the water shortage in Beijing, they only run the fountains for about an hour each evening. The fountains are basically a big splash pad, but none of the kids here are actually allowed to run through them even though it's 25 degrees out. While all the other kids were dressed in long pants, my kids were running around in shorts and t-shirts while I had to do everything in my power to keep them out of the fountain jets. Despite my best efforts, Nico still came away with a soaker, with me getting a tsk-tsk from one of the hovering nannies. I just gave her a big smile, picked him up and took the two kids home to bed.

Settling In

We've finally managed to find and move into an apartment here in Beijing. Our first apartment fell through so we moved to a cheaper hotel while our friend looked for something else. The search didn't take long, however, as she learned that friends of hers were going back to their home province for the next three months and yes, they would be willing to rent their place to us while they were gone.

On Saturday, we packed up our things and taxied over to the apartment. As you can see from the video below, it's a nice one, built in the last five years with modern furnishings.

While it's a little further out, it's right next to a subway station (Jinsong). The area has all the amenities we need, with three large grocery stores and lots of different restaurants. We're in a complex of 13 buildings that house ~10,000 families. The complex has a large garden area in the middle with a playground, pathways and fountain, which we've had fun exploring the past couple of days. It's a pretty affluent area, and security isn't so much of a concern.

I'll admit that the first week was a tough one. Getting over jetlag, living out of a suitcase, and being confined to a one-bedroom with two kids was not a lot of fun for anyone involved. It was hard to get the kids on a proper sleep schedule and the fact that we couldn't cook or store our own food meant that they weren't eating well either. Now that we've moved into the apartment, we've been able to get a good night's sleep and buy some proper groceries, and we're looking to get our schedule on track.

We've already met some other people here. We've been introduced to a family that lived in Canada for a while, and our host's brother lives in the building next door--Lia has already befriended their daughter.

It's been a bumpy landing but we're glad to finally get settled.

Arrivals

I keep pinching myself that we're actually here--this trip to Beijing has been a daydream of ours ever since we received Nico's referral and started planning for Shawn's parental leave. So much depended on how little Han Kun transitioned into our family and what he needed. That first day in Nanjing he surprised us with his adventurous, open attitude and his sense of security, and we had an inkling things might work out. When we mentioned the idea of coming back to China to our friend here, she was quite excited and offered to help us find a place to stay.

Nico continued to do very well (sleeping like a log, eating like a horse, and attaching nicely). Lia also loves the stimulation of travel, seeing new people and places, so we felt that our family could handle a three-month stint in China. We booked the airline tickets, applied for the visas, and started packing.

Did we luck out or what? Two travel-loving parents end up with two outgoing, adaptable kids.

Our friend met us at the airport ("You're home now!" was the first things she said to us) and we took a van to the apartment she found. It's a two-bedroom on the 16th floor of a highrise near to the Olympic Park (you can see the flame-shaped building from the balcony). We left most of our luggage there (the owners still need to clean and prepare it for us) and then took the subway to Jianguo Garden Hotel, where we stayed in February.

What will the next three months hold? At the moment, we've got a comfortable darkened hotel room, two kids on North American time awake in the middle of the night, watching My Neighbor Totoro on the laptop. Life is good.